Point & Click Relationships

Why do we enter them?

It has been several weeks if not longer that I was invited to write an editorial for The Haven. Lacking the finesse of a writer, a decent vocabulary, and good spelling skills, not to mention a topic to write about, I declined.
Then under heavy pressure, arm twisting, and the threat of blackmail I agreed to give it a shot (just kidding about the arm twisting...lol). So here I am hoping all of you will bear with me, as this topic has been previously talked about.

When I first logged on to the Internet, I was a virgin! Yes, a virgin to the Internet, chat rooms, game parlors, and all that the "wonderful world of cyber space" had to offer.
As most of you reading this know, the news about "internet relationships" became public knowledge to most every online in some form or another, i.e. friends, the media, chat rooms, game rooms etc, and of course experience.
Being married at the time, I couldn't conceive the idea of meeting someone, getting to know them, falling in love without ever seeing them, and creating a real relationship from the "point and click" of a mouse. Keep in mind that there wasn't such a thing as scanners and web cams at the time... but they were close behind.

Then it happened! Three plus years after logging on for the first time, my marriage of 7 -1/2 years ending, which by the way was not computer related in anyway, and a lonely Saturday night I entered the " Zone". Better known as the MSN Game Zone, where I sought out a friendly game of spades to occupy my time and take my mind off the emotions I was not in the mood to deal with.

I'll be brief here...I saw an interesting name, then "point & click".... I sat, we met, we flirted, and we became regular spades partners. We exchange pictures via email, (cams were just making their debut), and by some comment I had made, and daringly giving up my phone number, I found myself on the phone with a woman I hardly knew. But it was new, exciting, and fun, and she lifted my spirits more than I have ever thanked her for. Any of this sounding familiar to anyone yet? ( hehehehe ).

All of a sudden I wasn't alone anymore, my spirits were soaring, my heart was racing with excitement and joy, and I felt more alive and secure myself. You can call it what you like, but for me, I was in love with a capital L.
She was in a lousy marriage and separated, divorce had been filed for, but not yet granted. Sound familiar to anyone yet? ( hehehehe ). Well to shorten the story once again, 5-1/2 months after meeting online I flew to the east coast for our first meeting in person. Four glorious days later with tears streaming down our faces, hugs, kisses, and goodbyes said I returned home. We had our second personal meeting 2-1/2 months after the first one, which I also flew to the east coast for. For anyone that's been in this position, I have to ask ....
How did you like those 3 and 4 hundred dollars a month phone bills?

Ok this is getting rather winded so I'll make it brief from here on (I hope).

After her decision to go to Hawaii with "friends" instead of coming here, and another week with "friends" in Washington D.C., words were said, anger raged, our fingers pointing blame, and hurting each other verbally, mentally, and emotionally, she informed me that she was not ready for a serious commitment at this point. Was it a newfound freedom or perhaps a newfound Internet friend? Was I just a distraction from a bad marriage? Who knows? Still not divorced, her guy "friend" of 8 months stays with her when he comes to town every other week for business. She says he's more into the relationship than she is, (wondering if he knows this?). We still talk and remain close friends.

Ok, ok, ok to the point of this issue if there is one, and there are a hell of a lot more than just one. Any of this sound familiar? I'm not alone here am I?

How many of you out there have gone through those same experiences? How many of you have been in a chat or game room and felt you had a special someone, only to find out he/she is everyone's special someone? As I've gotten close with another woman online, I'm wondering if it can work out. I've witnessed couples who've met online and taken their relationships to the altar, and yet I've witnessed some internet relationships come crashing down so hard that they have left those involved full of depression, anxiety, self loathing, insecure, and suicidal. So ask yourself at least this if, like me, you are entertaining the idea of another "point and click" relationship, "why am I going online to find that special someone instead of looking in my own back yard"? What am I willing to sacrifice for the sake of love, (and the biggie) Is it really love? Or is it just a distraction from feeling alone, depressed, unimportant, and worthless?

Nobody but you can answer those questions, but at least ask yourself some of them before entering a "point & click" relationship. I'll be posting questions in the forum, as I have several of them I would like feedback on. In the mean time.....

Have a kind and gentle day!

Phil