This past couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I have pondered many personal decisions and situations, and have been monitoring, mentoring a few close friends as well. As usual, my reflective nature gets into the why of the situation.
I made a couple personal revelations. I decided on one major issue, that the outcome has been predetermined and inevitable for a long time, but I have been lying to myself, trying to fool myself into thinking it would miraculously right itself. The shock of such a realization was almost earth shattering. I hit an all time low. My health suffered. My emotions were crushed. I was in a tailspin. Then along came an editorial about depression. Along came a friend I could open up to. Slowly, I was able to adjust my thought processes, and take a look from a new perspective.
Stepping back, and looking into my own situations from a different perspective allowed me to question my process. The first question I had to ask was, is this a real situation, or a perceived situation? In other words, I needed to be HONEST with myself, about myself. I was surprised that, since I have always talked the honesty talk, I found I had been lying to myself. I had been trying to explain the situation in a self satisfying manner. Was I building my own ego? Or was I trying to hide the true depth of the issue from the outside world? Was I afraid to hurt my own self image, or was I afraid of what others would think of me? Did I lack the TRUST and faith in my friends to be sympathetic to my issues and emotions? Why was I not COMMUNICATING with myself?
I am not so sure that I answered all of those questions to myself. And even if I had answered them, my answers probably would not apply to you, or your situations. I did however, change my perspective on my reflections, and in so doing, managed to change my emotions and the procedure I was taking. It wasn't suddenly, but slowly things began to work out. The cumulative medical issues began to correct themselves, well, with a bit of medical intervention, as well. Was it the change in attitude that helped that, or was it the medical correction that changed the attitude? I think the attitude started the process, but then they worked with each other, to complete the transformation. And while everything isn't quite rosey yet, things are looking up. I have shifted my course, to meet the CHANGING DYNAMICS of my life at present. Yes, I am growing again.
My new and improved attitude has allowed me to venture out, discuss some issues with some people (not different in a bad way, but not within my normal circle of friends). I have gained some new insights, learned a couple of new perspectives, and broadened my horizons considerably. Yes, it was a successful week. Profitable in the relationship end (no, nothing romantic) and I am still working on the financially profitable portion of my life. But true happiness is all emotional, and very little financial. It can be so disheartening to acknowledge that in today's society, some of the basic "needs" are definitely financially driven, though. As a Canadian, I am thankful for our medical programs, but I still take issue to the costs and classifications of some services.
The secret to continuing on my path, is remaining positive. The hard part was getting there. There are times when we need that kick in the backside, whether it be from ourselves, or someone else. And if the mindset is correct, it doesn´t need to be an all out kick, just a gentle nudge. Other times, it is just knowing that someone else has been there, felt the way we do, faced, and survived the challenges we are struggling with. It is an issue of SUPPORT, but it is an issue of the type of support we need at the time. It is having friends, colleagues, associates that can understand our plight, are willing to listen to us, and to be able to offer what is best for us at the time. No two situations or people are alike.
Being honest with ourselves also means taking each comment, perspective and idea, and not judging it solely on ones own determinations. It means, stepping back, viewing it impartially, and looking deep within the issues and ourselves. Maybe the feedback we got was not considered supportive. Maybe it wasn't even intended to be. But maybe, just maybe, from a different perspective, it is very essential to the process at hand. Reflect back on it a few hours, days, or weeks later. Discuss it with some people outside your normal circle, if you can. Take the personal and emotional elements away, and ask yourself, Is that what I would have said? Take time to consider what information was missing from that person's process. Under the circumstances, and if they are true friends with your best interest at heart, hopefully you will agree with them. Maybe not today, though. Also consider who you have sought support from. When we are down and out we tend to know the people, or types of people who will help us out, and it is important to be near them. Misery likes company, so they say. I think like attitudes also enjoy company. A smile is infectious, so choose your surroundings appropriately.
It is time to consider where we are. Who we are. What we are. It is time to take a realistic and honest approach. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. Are we living in reality, or a dream world? What are we afraid of? The bubble we call life sometimes needs to burst, and we need to plant our feet firmly on the ground, take a stand, and forge forward. Take a deep breath. Get into the proper perspective. Surround yourselves with the best allies you can. Move forward. One step at a time.