The “Art of Talking” Have you ever just wanted to talk to someone so you could let your feelings out? Not looking for an answer but were just “thinking out loud”? Think about that for a second. Oh sure we all have endless conversations and “talk” - day-to-day stuff, the weather, sports (if you’re a male for the most part), and the list continues. But what if it was a time that the person across from you just wanted to talk about “feelings”? How many conversations have you had where someone was trying to “talk” to you and you’re response was “well I can’t answer that for you” or “I don’t know the “answer” - you feel frustrated and helpless and the conversation comes to a quick end - cause there are “things to do” - “places to go” - “people to see” - after all we all have hectic schedules these days - time is precious. Person you were “talking” to says - “ya you’re right - not important anyhow”. For the most part, people think that when a question is posed that an “answer” is required. But “what if” the person you were “talking to” was simply trying to find their own answers - just needed something other than four empty walls to “bounce ideas off”? Get different perspectives - something that four walls can’t do unless they are the option of “last resort”. Perhaps the person you were talking too - wasn’t looking for for those have to come from within. Could it be possible that they were just trying to “find their way” and looked to you as a friend to hear and listen, provide feedback, ask questions, make them think, maybe “just be there”. Is it possible that the “art of talking” is knowing when to be silent? When to ask very hard questions that may hurt? Ask questions that may even provoke their “inner souls” and possibly argue with you? But are they arguing with you or themselves and you are simply a conduit to freeing something that needs to be released? If they are your friend - it may take hours in a single conversation - may sound like it has no purpose to YOU but I would suggest that if they are a “true friend” - time becomes meaningless. So what is the “art of talking” - perhaps it goes beyond the world of “hearing” and it therefore can be called “the art of listening”. Extended and it can include the “art of understanding”, the “art of caring”, and in some ways “the art of tuff love”, in ways that are appropriate to a given situation. Most importantly, I would suggest that the “art of talking” is the “art of listening to the ” for far too many hide behind what they feel are safe zones. Written By: Karl Timmermans - Ontario, Canada Aug’2000 - All rights reserved Email: Karl@Ktimmermans.com _________________________________________ Karl@KTimmermans.com Voice: (416) 346-8486 - Fax: (603) 452-9746